My God! I thought. Option 1: Consult a Reference Work! Therefore to reduce those Breasts that hang flagging out of all comely shape and form, that they may be plump, round and smaller, bind them up close to you with caps or bags that will just fit them, and so let them continue for some nights. Bruise and mingle them well together.
The 17th-Century Breastoration: A Time Before Bras
The four of us languished in the hazy heat, contemplating how to entertain ourselves until we decided upon the most logical way possible: a trip to the Renaissance Faire , where an assortment of sensory delights awaited us. Fun fact: Tuxedo Park is the origin of the tuxedo as we know it. Seriously, google it. However, this faire was no place for tuxedos; it was a place for lords and ladies, kings and queens, knights and fair maidens, wenches, minstrels, elves, fairies, wizards, and even the occasional steam punk. Upon entry, it seemed our fates had already been decided.
At Ren Faire, all women are wenches. But the constant sexual innuendo is tiresome. I remember a woman with a pear nestled between her breasts. In fact, the line between fetishwear and Ren Faire costumes is alarmingly thin; the chain mail shop sells armor fit for battle, but it seemed to be doing a much more brisk business in belly chains.